Attentive active listening

This is what most people doesn’t want to do. When people get together or in a group they want to put forward their ideas, way of thinking and offer comments on the subject of discussion. No one is ready to listen.

Importance of listening can be gauged, if you can for a change listen to attentively.Pretending to be listening will not help you because your partner will easily feel that you are not listening attentively. If you can genuinely listen and ask for more details or better clarification etc, he will always say you are a good conversationalist,all though you have spoken hardly any thing. When you listen attentively that’s the highest compliment anyone can pay. I can give a good example. I had a grandfather, as like most other grandfathers he also likes to speak about good olden days. When I visit him he used to complain about eyesight, hearing and agility. Fortunately as I was genuinely interested about his well being I started to ask few questions about those ailments and got him talking about them. I got a detailed description of how and why those aliments are there and cure for those by grandfather himself. I listened attentively and after few hours of listening I found he was exhausted by speaking continuously. when he paused for some time I invited him to go to the doctor with me. But he said these are common for old age and he does not need any special medical treatment. Then he said that I’m a good person and I’m looking after him well, where as what I had done was only attentively listening to him.

By listening we can learn lot of things which we thought we knew earlier. I have seen so many instances when a person is complaining, if you listen to him intently, after the complainant completes his narration at least half of the complaint is automatically settled. His arrogance and pep up anger is subdued. Then he will be a reasonable person to discuss the matter. Listning is single most important skill for communicators.By listening you can learn a lot specially, the point of view of others and how they feel about anything.

While listing one can show that he is attentive by either a nod, or an uh-huh, or an I see. Some lean forward in the chair or shift their posture. This can be done according to the situation. Direct eye contact is also a way in showing attentiveness. Listening is one technique of showing we respect others. People like to be respected. Listening to someone’s opinion is a better way to getting them to our way of thinking. This may not work always. Most of the time it will work. Lot of big companies are having round table discussions about improvement and suggestions regularly with employees. While one top executive listening to them attentively. Most of the time getting notes of what had been discussed. This is called real attentive listening. Listening- we could categorise as two main basics.

1. Listening is the best way to learn
2. When you attentively listen to others they will respond to you.

Therefore before you speak at anytime at anyplace on any subject listen attentively.
Active listening involves concentration. Needs questioning and prodding. Listener have to respond thoughtfully on target and concisely. This should be proved practically to believe. Therefore to satisfy yourself try listening actively today and feel the difference.

Value of the name

Main purpose of the name is to identify a person. Name is very important to any person irrespective of his status, position, age, etc.. Good example is if you have a group photograph where you are also in, first and foremost your eye will go in search of where you are in the photo. That is human nature. Always you are interested in you before anyone else.

Take another example if you are with an infant and if you keep ignoring him for some time he will start crying. He feels that you are not interested in him, he wants your attention therefore he start to cry to attract your attention. When you give him attention and start petting he stops crying. that is when he gets attention and recognition. All of us crave to be recognized.

Name gives a person recognition and importance. You should be careful to pronounce the name accurately. If you can call someone by the name, even if you are meeting him after a decade or two other person will be very happy that you have remembered his name after a such a long periods of time. It says that he is an important person to you and you recognized him to be special. This itself will be a plus point for your future relationship with him. At the same time if you could inquire about his children and his pet subject, you will be hitting the jackpot.
Can you remember an instance you felt awkward when you meet a person and you could not recollect his name, you must have got into this situation many times.

When a person is introduced try to remember not only the name, but few other things about him. Another way is when introduced repeat the name loudly and ask him whether you have pronounced correctly, try to connect the name to someone or something which is familiar and you could easily remember. Calling by the name one gets a feeling that he is recognized as an individual and he feels he is an impotent person. Let him enjoy that feeling. You can make someone happy for a moment. You have contributed for someone’s well being. You also will be happy for his sake.

Please be careful when addressing, you have to address him the way he likes to be addressed. Finding it shows that you are interested in him. He will be satisfied.

You can try this and feel the response. I’m confident you will enjoy it very much. Why not try and see how you will feel. Try this today.